Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Is something wrong with ME?
I am very distant from people and i feel alone all the time as if i literally have no friends because i don't have much to begin with. I have tendencies to go M.I.A. and i could disappear for awhile, without contacting or calling etc. When i did have friends in HighSchool(now im in college), Once i went out with some of my friends and we all went inside a store and i just happened to be the only one that went my own way and just totally left the group. I may have done of purposely but i still had the thought of doing it. Don't get me wrong, I love people and i pray God give me friends in college now. So that's why i think i have a problem, maybe its because im the only child and im pretty much by myself all the time. I go to school sometimes and i go without talking sometimes to people for a whole day(unless i see someone i kno, but if i don't. I don't talk) I even have friends(assocsiates) that i talk to and sometimes i have tendencies to talk to them as if this is our first convo. ever, instead of say "omg, heyy how are u or something" like how a normal person would when they see a close friend or something, im usually plane and simple. Even when i try to force it, it doesn't seem natural. & I think at times its what makes ppl distant from me to because they don't sense any personality from me. But the ironic thing is im just as Crazy and fun, but its like somewhere in me that fun side is hiding. As of right now their is a guy friend i have, im starting to think he likes me alil more than a friend. Though im not interested, I am becoming distant and i pretty much cut of communications with all guy friends this summer. Even though thats just a minor thing(boys are trouble sometimes-im just avoiding temptation with all that) but its just an example of the way i am. Is something wrong with me?????/ As much as i want ppl around me, my actions show differently. I can literally be in a room sometimes with a person but its almost as if im not there because of this distance thing i sense with myself and ppl. I need to change this---thank you for ur advice in advance :-D
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